I created this collage at the start of the new year - it's a visual representation of what I want to work towards this year. The thought was I'd make it my desktop image and through the power of positive thought and visualization all would come to fruition.I now believe that's a bunch of crap - do I still want all these things? You bet...do I think God, Allah, FSM, or a magic gnome is going to provide cuz I think about these things ALL the friggin time? NO.
My life is not the one I'd thought I'd have - plans have changed course, fate has stepped in and I am at a cross roads. I can accept my reality and beat the screaming dragon within to docile submission, or do something about it and regain my power to move forward, make the life I want and to hell with this annoying fate s**t!
I choose the latter.
I have been trying to accept and move past the loss our pregnancy. I can't. I have been trying to accept and move past the decisions we made last summer. Havin' a hard time with that one too.
So...I am hoping to reinvent myself. Spend a little time with my inner demons and angels and find out some answers about me.
I have no concept of a destination only a rough idea of a path. I'll try to keep y'all posted along the way. Just know this, the person I am today is not the person I was a year ago, and only vaguely resembles the person I hope to become in the future.
Wishing everyone true happiness ~ I'll be in touch.
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4 comments:
Hey, congratulations on how far you've come in your struggles. I once read that "the Journey is the destination". Probably some catchy yoga gear slogan, but catchy none the less.
I wish you the best and offer my support anytime you need.
Thanks friend. Emery's happy, healthy pregnancy and your friendship has actually been a huge support to me. So thank you for your friendship. You two are truly amazing people I am so happy to call you friends.
I hope things are changing for the better for you, whatever changes you're making. I can't imagine trying to get over what you've been through (and honestly don't imagine that anyone ever could), and if there's any support I can offer, please let me know. I'm looking forward to seeing you sometime soon.
I am thinking of you lately from up here in Alaska. I feel like life has handed me some similar lessons to tours since 2009. I wonder how you are faring, how you are beating back fate (or the idea of it), and hoping you have found some joy.
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