flow ...

http://sharing.theflip.com/session/dd433cd8b765179ad8ae765ce602fe60/video/3367589

Video of my friend Jessica and her troupe belly dancing. She's the one in orange. I have to say this woman has developed into a lovely dancer over the years. She's really a joy to watch.

Those of you who don't know much about Tribal Fusion Belly dance - it's completely improved. The troupe learns and rehearses basic moves and combinations but it is the leader (the dancer in front) who decides what moves to do and cues the other dancers. Can't pick out the cues? That's the point. They are often very subtle, a roll of the hand, dip of a shoulder, extension of an arm...it's very intoxicating.

If you have a chance to see a troupe perform live, I highly recommend it.

Happy shimmying!

A wee bit o'luck to y'all!

I found this poster online and it cracked me up. Not sure what's up with the pig, but hey, if you can get yours to jump over your giant shamrock whilst sporting such a dapper ensemble I say more power to ya. I have some Irish heritage, but I think was mainly because my British ancestors were horny and got in on with some lovely Irish lasses...never the less, I embrace what little Irish blood I have, especially around St. Patty's Day.

So embrace your inner leprechaun engage in a little mischief, do a little jig (even if someone is watching) and by God eat corned beef and cabbage (even though it was invented by Jewish American's). But I have to put my foot down on the green beer thing...ditch the food coloring and enjoy a lovely Killian's instead.

Éirinn go brách!

Mirror, mirror

I created this collage at the start of the new year - it's a visual representation of what I want to work towards this year. The thought was I'd make it my desktop image and through the power of positive thought and visualization all would come to fruition.

I now believe that's a bunch of crap - do I still want all these things? You bet...do I think God, Allah, FSM, or a magic gnome is going to provide cuz I think about these things ALL the friggin time? NO.

My life is not the one I'd thought I'd have - plans have changed course, fate has stepped in and I am at a cross roads. I can accept my reality and beat the screaming dragon within to docile submission, or do something about it and regain my power to move forward, make the life I want and to hell with this annoying fate s**t!

I choose the latter.

I have been trying to accept and move past the loss our pregnancy. I can't. I have been trying to accept and move past the decisions we made last summer. Havin' a hard time with that one too.
So...I am hoping to reinvent myself. Spend a little time with my inner demons and angels and find out some answers about me.

I have no concept of a destination only a rough idea of a path. I'll try to keep y'all posted along the way. Just know this, the person I am today is not the person I was a year ago, and only vaguely resembles the person I hope to become in the future.

Wishing everyone true happiness ~ I'll be in touch.

My own door

Only once before have I have I had an office with a door. It was years ago when my then department was displaced while our offices were being reconfigured and we worked in a temporary building next the the NAU green house. Even then it wasn't my own office, I shared with my dear friend Jessica.

But now, I'm so delighted, I get an office...of my very own - with a door! No more open floor plan cubical layout b.s. YEAH! I even get to pick the color of the walls...I'm so overwhelmed...something bright and cheery to distract me from the fact I have no window to the outside world or a soothing neutral that will accent whatever loveliness I decide to hang upon the walls? Decisions, decisions. It's the little things that can really make your day.

All in all the new job is going quite well - and starting during the holidays was brilliant on my part. ;) Parties galore!

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all.

Tracey Hayes, ASS

That's Academic Success Specialist...although I have been accused of acting the other at times. I have just officially accepted an offer from ASU's Dept. of Mathematics & Statistics to begin this coming Monday. YEAH, I'm once again gainfully employed!

Am I destined Mrs. Hayes?

To those of you who are gainfully employed or otherwise expected to be someplace, at some time, with some regularity - I envy you. I have learned, oh these many weeks, that I don't do well without "the daily grind." Apparently I'm qualified, or at least appear to be such on paper, for I have been blessed with well over 10 interviews in the past 4wks. But alas, no job offers lie in wait for me to date. At least I have a back-up plan...one that seems so logical and yet so foreign to me.

In fall 1995 I began my higher-ed career with a major in Theater Education - I felt a strong connection to the arts and hoped to one day inspire others to find their path of passion. I quickly changed my major, out of spite more than anything, devoting my heart to the arts alone, leaving education to fend for itself. In May of this year I completed a Masters of Education degree...not in curriculum and instruction mind you...that was still too scary to commit to. So as I continue to interview for a position in higher ed my plan laying in wait is to become a certified teacher. I am working on getting my fingerprint card followed by my sub cert followed be yet another Master's degree, this time with more marketability - a teacher certification.

The hesitation? The unknown of course! Numerous informants have told me they sense I would be a great teacher, but does my heart fear otherwise? For things which are too monstrous for me to wrap my head around (such as this decision) I turn it all over to the Fates. It's a bit like putting your future into the clairvoyance of a Magic 8-Ball, but it works for me. If I get hired for one of these 10+ jobs I've interviewed for - so be it. My life will remain in higher ed (for the near future at least). However, if in fact no job offer comes to me, then I shall jump - fully and whole-heartedly into the classroom, where alas I am not the student, but the teacher. Perhaps only time will tell where I'm meant to be. Regardless, I must find my path soon, for stay-at-home wife does not suit me without baby on hip or group of like-minded fellows to waste away the days with.

NEEEXT!

Words of wisdom that have reared their head lately...
"Everything happens for a reason" - although you may not know why at the time.

"God will only give you what you can handle" - regardless of your religious beliefs, I've found amazing strength in times I thought I wouldn't.

"Mothers are crazy" - you love them anyway, even if it means given them some space now and again.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" - isn't cool that you can right your wrongs with the dawning of a new day?!?!

...so here's where I'm at today:
Employment status: pending...have had 2 interviews, have another on the books. Hoping for 2nd interviews soon. (Primarily because I'm going stir crazy with no where to be from 8-5).

Health status: I'm really out of shape. I have tried to go for a run twice now and feel like my calves are on fire and my lungs are on strike...but I also feel pretty empowered and know that my endurance will return. I have found a new, fun, fabulous way to shake my groove thang. That's right I'm bellydancing. The tricks I have found
1) Find a great teacher (I've lucked out with my dear friend Cari)
2) Laugh a lot
3) Stand in the back so you can't really see yourself (you'll just obsess and it won't be pretty)
4) Laugh a lot

...I have found it's really hard to hold my arms up for an hour long class and that I feel strong, fluid, and empowered when I bellydance. Who knew?

So if you ever have the opportunity to bellydance I highly recommend it. If you are in the Valley area check out Anaya Tribal (http://www.anayatribal.com/) they're some amazing ladies that will make you want to move.

Weath: let's not go there...things will be much better when we're a 2 income house again.

Family: I couldn't ask for better inlaws, their unconditional support of us has been amazing. My husband is a testament of strength and caring, he can still make me laugh everyday even when dark clouds loom.

As for me...it's all about the NEXT - back on the road to log another mile, back in the studio to laugh and shimmy, and back online to tweak my resume, back to my roots of doing what's good and right for me so I may be blessed again.